|Reviews for Hospital Visitation|
| Reloj 5/31/08 . chapter 1
This is rather emotional; I like the feeling of it. It reminds me of my own father, who I lost.
| mysticalfluff 12/28/04 . chapter 1
Beautiful job on this, so sad and honest and open.
| Amelia Vogner 4/20/04 . chapter 1
Oh...that is so sad...
| B e Hickman 4/8/04 . chapter 1
This has got some good rhythm.. you seem to thrive in shorter lines. There are some parts where the verbiage is awkward-'bright lights that hurt the eyes','eyes are shiny and bright','dripping from the tips'... I think you can truncate for better flow, that's all. But this conveys some powerful emotion, and ends pretty strongly.
| Aleonic Relic 3/27/04 . chapter 1
it's always hard to view a loved one in their weakest state though it makes you stronger in the end. nice poem, very emotional and well written.
| GIR 3/25/04 . chapter 1
I like this one. It's very sad. It reminds me of a friend of mine, but that's a long story. Well written. I can tell that you really let everything you had out into this poem.
| JRVillers 3/22/04 . chapter 1
I love the 4 lines you use to describe your father's smile.
'I know what you see./The baby girl/That I will always be,/In your eyes.' I really like how you tie this with the end, with 'That you will not see/Me live.'
One thing I did hope for in this piece was at least an allusion to his ailment. But overall, I loved it. Keep writing!
| Hallucinogen Orange 3/20/04 . chapter 1
Beautiful. It speaks volumes about you, and it's so heart wrenchingly honest. Beautiful. You shine as a pillar of strength in a world of the fearful and selfish. Thanks for reviewing me..
Upon my fragile shoulders
Greivance and cold hate
how I hunger
I hate this empty
Disillusion in me...
Could I find the bliss
Of your radiant kiss
within dreams yet undreamt
I wake in the morning, your taste on my skin
my long black hair all unkempt...
Know who I am yet, lady? You seem to recognize my style, and have an unwavering liking to it, as you praise under my many names. Thanks for all the reviews. I really appreciate it, and I find it warming that you like my work under any assumed pretense.
| this is not a biography 3/19/04 . chapter 1
This is so beautiful... especially towards the end. I cannot even imagine losing someone that important to me. My heart goes out to you.
| karla 3/18/04 . chapter 1
Very strong excellent sentimental poem. Very good.
| Othello934 3/17/04 . chapter 1
Wow, that was powerful...pulsates pathos.
| Sammy- B 3/17/04 . chapter 1
thta's so sad, but you put your feeling beautifully into this poem. Yet, so sad!
| Kohakunushi 3/17/04 . chapter 1
Great poem... reminds me of when i have last visited my friends mom... she died of cancer...
| Magpie Poet 3/16/04 . chapter 1
ugh. a little too well done. flashback of too many hospital visits for family members. i'm sorry if this has passed in rl.
| wisefellow 3/16/04 . chapter 1
this was touching very good