I can relate to this poem. It's similar to the ones I write only better. You are really good. Keep up the good work. R/R mine when you get a chance.

Depressing though it may be- it is still a very well written piece. It is always a joy to be able to read your work. A lot of what you write has a very dark quality to it... especially this one. It hurts very much to read it, but as far as the rhythm and overall feeling given... very clear and smoothly written! Keep writing! ;-)

I'm curious if it's a dream whilst awake...
You might be stuck,glad your not gone. The feeling of being so though is overbearing. Ouch, wow.

the good: i liked the format of your poem, it's probably the best i've read in a really long time. and the imagery is really cool.
the bad: the rhythm needs some work, i think. i'm not sure...i might have read it wrong
but overall, i really enjoyed your poem...though it's depressing...i enjoyed it