Rou- would you like to be my new English teacher? I somehow managed to make it through high school without anyone telling me how to structure paragraphs with dialogue in them. Well, anyways, I'll try my best to fix it. Thanks.

I've only read the first chapter, and it looks good so far. Maybe chop up some of the larger paragraphs. And after one character says something, another character's action in response to that something should be in a new paragraph ^^
Heh, Macy's joke was funy..

intersting story
but i htink the paragraphs should have line spacing between then..more easier to read u c...
neway..back to reading for me!