It's a bit confusing: not sure who's POV it is at times and who the characters are. Next time perhaps you could develop you characters more to make things more understandable and to make it feel more real for the reader. Also, you have a couple of typos. In ch. 1, segment 2, it should be "That was you(r) mum, calling for you." and in segment 7 it should be "We (have) been (given) these grey shirts...". The flashbacks and sudden changes of POVs work well, though. It makes the story more interesting and mysterious. If I'm a being too critical its because this is what I do to all the stories I read that I like or at least think are written well.

*sob* that last bit was sad... ;_; but in three days? wow... i feel so slow! ><
it was really good... but it got confusing as to who's pov it was... *_* oh well.
meh.
twas really good...
sugoi!
~Karasu

Hello to "7|-|3 5|-|4D0vv"
i really like your fic.
it was a bit confusing but otherwise it was quite addictive, just like a good fic should be...
just a suggestion, if you do another one, you should say whose POV it is at the beginning of the section and maybe have less flashbacks...
btw, I still think Jen is U... seeing how you don't have a frying pan i think its safe to say this...
From:
|=0r 7|-|3 |3|rd5
(munted For the Birds...)

helo
half of the insane asylum here
really good story line love the characters, however a bit more femme slash than needed *CITUS*
fantastic end *kicks presidents butt* good evil charac ect cet blah blah blah you know exactly what im g onna say kit KEEP WRITING