now THAT IS my kind of poem. its very creative. i enjoyed reading it, though i despise Metal-Heads...anyway a tiny detail in the part that it says:
I'm now in Dead world wouldn't it be better if it said:
I'm now in a Dead world
or
I'm now in the Dead world
i dont know it just sounds weird
kip it up

Oh I likey! Tis very good! I especially like the line 'Don't you...won't you, come back to me', only suggestion is to make both lines mimic. Again, tis a good poem and I thoroughly enjoyed it!
B.M. [No, I'm not coming back...go away.]