 E.J.H. Stevens 2004-04-02 . chapter 1I went to your page, wondering where to begin. And this seemed like no better story to start with, title and all.
Well, anyway. I really like stories like this, God knows I've written about a dozen. This is really good and all, but when you described the costumes I was thinking that maybe you shouldn't try to copy Sailor Moon in that aspect. It just loses some of the orriginality. This fic was very funny, but it seemed to be lacking in detail, something that can be added right? You take for granted that the reader knows what you're picturing in your head, which of course, they don't. A good idea might be to add some back story at the beginning, just so we get a better idea of who the characters are. That way it doesn't take so long to figure out who's who.
All-in-all, good story, it just needs some work.
-LS |