Nice job here, but I have a couple of tips for you:
- Lengthen your work...this took about a minute or two for me to read, and I was somewhat disappointed to discover that it ended so quickly.
- Add a little more detailing to your work.
Other than that, from what I can see you are a pretty interesting writer. Keep writing!

Magickal Melinside checkout my bio. There is a message for you and it's not mean.

Well, like I am a yo yo man, and I say all sorts of yo yo things. So please take my statements with a grain of yo yo.
I thought your story was gruesome, and I shared it with my students. I teach a class room of kindergarteners, and they all screamed in horror as I used a fake blade inserting it into my stomach at the end of reading your sroty to them. Of course the blade was coated and ejecting pseudo-blood.
Three of my students are now in the pych ward. Thanks for helping me to destroy these little wee ones!
Like yo man, and I will catch up to you later, because I AM A NOTORIOUS KILLER... Like RED-RUM all the way dude!

Hello-
Nice story you got here. Interesting title. Keep writing, and strive for the best.

Interesting...

For a reall short story I kinda liked it. Perhaps a little bit more detail and a little more length would have helped you out a little, but I still like this none the less. I look forward to reading more of your works somewhere down the line and hope you continue to write. Try expanding your ideas a little further and I'm sure you will be pleased with the results, and I'm sure that your audience will be pleased as well. Good Luck! :D

Hey cousin. Very good story. Keep writing more. Thanks for reviewing my story, but I'm surprised that you wanted to read it, considering its R rating, and your refusal of watching R movies (other than "The Matrix" movies). Anyway, good story.