Hey!

I came from your Protecting Kel stories over on fanfiction... because with that one chapter you had me hooked. I just wanted to tell you AWESOME job! I love your descriptions of people and places.. though the scene breaks are somewhat confusing because there is no warning that they are coming. And I have to also say that I REALLY, REALLY want you to update this story, pretty please! It's been over a year here, and while I just found it, I really like it and am just waiting to find out what happens next, is Aura getting away, what a Tavis and Kubo... and I could be wrong... but doesn't Tavis have the same name as the Tavis in your other story? Is there a connection there or do you just like the name? Update soon, love your story!Awesome job!

*hops in* Sorry I'm late. Had to satisfy a late-night sugar craving. ^_~

I like the description of the city. Sounds like a lovely place to live--er, that is, if one couldn't live out in the countryside where it is always lovely. ^_~

"Hurok was one [year] older but still had a number of [years] under his apprenticeship." --Just a repetition of year/years in one sentence.

^_^ Looks like your fonts were off here. I'm sure you've noticed--or it has at least been mentioned before now--that your quotation marks are accented O's.

"His thick lips continually mouthed whatever words he wrote in the massive black leather-bound book. Whenever something pleased him, he smacked them loudly, as if tasting the worth." XD I love the description about that man!

"Let's go have some fun now, babe." It could just be me, but "babe" seems a bit too modern. It just sort of stuck out at me there.

Again, a scene change with no warning. I was watching out for it this time, ^_~ but an extra space or two between lines or an asterik or something would work wonders to keep those scenes separated.

"She wasn't a beauty, but neither was she comely." Actually, "comely" means beautiful, so I think here you meant to say "homely" rather than "comely."

A couple typos here and there that I've noticed. Ack, aye... a cliff-hanger. *sighs* I should not complain, though... I've left people with cliff-hangers, too. ^_^ I hope you get to add more soon!

Now, what'd I do with that stick? *finds stick* Write! *poke* Write! *poke* ^_~

I'm sure I'll talk to you before Thursday, but I'll say it anyway-- Have a great time in D.C.!!

*waves happily* Me again. Moving right along with this story of yours! Now I can officially assist Anne in the pestering for you to write. ^_^

"It’s crown was a great black claw..." No apostrophe in "its," dear. ^_~

You and Anne are making a necromancer-fan out of me. ^_^

Is "tavern" a part of the full name of the tavern? If so, it should be capitalized as well--The Rainbow Tavern.

Yay! Glad to see Kubo is still alive and kickin'. ^_^

"The young conjurer tipped up the tankard and finished the remainder of pale brown liquid which continually seeped from a leak next to the handle." Nice little detail about the leak... I like it! ^_^

"Flopping down next to his worldly possessions, he watched the dust turn the slight beams of light a warm gold." I like that detail about the dust as well. I love little details like that. It really makes the scene come to life.

Ah, one thing you might want to do is separate your scene changes a little more visibly. Right now, they just look like they go from one paragraph right into the next, and sometimes it takes me a moment to realize that time has passed, a scene has changed, or the p.o.v. is different. You might want to add extra spaces between the scenes, or add something like ~*~ to help separate them.

One other little nit: It seems the barkeeper was able to remember the boyish stranger on scant few details. He probably sees a lot of customers coming in and out, and there would probably be at least a few now and then who look "boyish." Maybe a few more details? That is, if Tavis even knows any more details... *shrugs* Just a suggestion. ^_^

"The door opened and revealed a dark blond haired and blue eyed man [who’s] face still clung to boyhood." - "whose face" ;)

So our Tavis has finally caught up with our Kubo. ^_^ Let's see what happens next! *darts off to the next chapter*

"Tavis Zalin, the thirty year old apprentice head..." Methinks there should be hyphens (thirty-year-old)

Ah, so that poor student has disappeared, eh? Tsk tsk tsk. Poor guy. I don't know if you wanted constructive criticism as I read or not, but either way, I'm not finding much to crit. ^_~

"Raising an eyebrow, Aura mentally sent a prayer to the quite weaver named Garrett..." To the "quiet weaver" maybe?

Are there clocks in this realm? I was just curious because of the phrase "Hold on a tic!", the tic being the tic of a clock's hand. If there are no clocks, you might want to switch that to 'moment' or something similar. ^_~

^_^ Harok and Aura are so cute together!

I'm enjoying this muchly so far. I'm only sorry I didn't get to it sooner!

~Brandi

*waves* Hello! 'Tis I, Brandi. At long last, I have arrived to read your stuff. ^_^

Very nice imagery and well-written so far! Just one thing... "Repeating the movement, she held the huge insect captive." Aren't scorpions arachnids, not insects? ^_~ Ah, a few paragraphs later you call it an arachnid. Just that one slip I guess.

:( Aw, poor Aura...

Nice fight scene between Kubo and the golem! I couldn't have done better! Uh oh... what's happened with the griffin and Kubo? *reads on*

Ah, very well done, Kenta! A fun read, and I'm curious as to what will happen in the next chapters.

Oh my goodness! I swear! ^_^ That is TREMEMENDOUS! More, pweez! More!*drools insanely*

I am definitely liking this story! Okay... so I've only read the first chapter, but that was good! ^_^ I haven't time right now to read the rest, but I refuse to take my leave until you fully understand how much I praise your talent! You are so very much better than I, but then again, right now I don't even have one of mine posted up on this site! *sigh* I ish very lazy. Tsk, tsk, me. Whatever. I'll stop waisting your time now and go. Toodles!~P.S. You're so good!

::poke poke poke:: more. mare says i. c'mon... reu hasn't even gotten to confuse of freak out anyone yet. yay for crazy necromancers! ::invision Reu dragging a certain sorcerer around by the ankle:: ^_^ i'm hyper... can ya tell?

oi! when will we see chapter for finished? *pokes you in the ribs 'till you hit her* i know you is busy... i should be doing stuff too, but i want more story to read... speaking of that... bring the gang by my page! c'mon, it'll be fun! fun fun!

your mother...
wow. i had forgotten how sad that first part was. you sure know how to set up a lovely little scene of homey affection and bliss and then ANIHILATE IT IN AN EXPLODING MASS OF FLAMES AND TAR! poor wizards, they really have it hard. one master exploads, the next gets all cut up and the one after that is an ambitious little *. they just can't catch a break can they? oh and your ice-sprite imagery rocks! i loved the wings and i actually winced when it got crunched... and i can't leave you alone without saying... poor kubo. ;) see you around... probably.

hello! (Steph here. I know have an account! yay.)
I'm a bit puzzled by the old man who keeps talking to himself (okay, so we all know he's talking to some weird spirits/the dead, that's besides the point) it seems very random and just suddenly thrown in on a whim. Of course, that's probably not true, and YOU guys know what he's doing here. We don't. Hope that gets cleared up soon enough.
I personally split this chapter up into three parts. 1, Reu Simone. 2. Kubo! and 3. Tavis (well, and a little Kubo I suppose) No big problems with any of the parts. I just have a quarrel with something nitty-gritty (please excuse me). Could there be clearer demarkation between the parts please? I kinda got lost between parts 2/3, cause I was wondering when Kubo morphed into Tavis. using * or - would be great. Or even just an enlarged space between the last para of one part and the first para of the next. It'd make reading easier, and everything'd be much clearer.
Thanksmuchly for updating! Really like the story. Want to see Aura! =) haha. (and I lost this story for a while actually. Seemed like your account had disappeared! haha. Glad I've found it again =)

hey! i have come after reading the first chapter at fanfiction.net. great story line, so far. hope you'll update soon and not keep us in suspense as to what's going to happen next.. and explain where Aura's grandma suddenly appeared from...? =)

score!! another chapter!! who!! write some more!! ur onna roll!! like the moon roll ;-)

hey hey! i first read this chapter in the original update chapter of protecting kel: sword and glaive (wich i must say is a FABULOUS title!! its soo cool!) so u cud probably find a better review there.

hey... this just continues getting better :)
seriously... it's extremely interesting and well written, and i hope this story will continue successfully (which i'm sure it wtill...) :)
*Lizzy*