wow this is... really good.

the last line does justice to the poem! great poem! i love the confusion within this girl...could i say that this is you? cause i think it is! anyway...it's great and i wish i could write like you...maybe someday...but not today...

thank you for your lovely review, although I don't feel it's justified, *blush*

I love this poem. It's so original, and unique, and flows beautifully.

The rhythm is lovely, apart from one line: "With all the problems she had." In my (humble) opinion, it should be: 'with all the problems that she had,' just to get the length of the line. To me, the rhythm is reminiscient of childhood nursery rhymes, a little, and I love how it goes with the poem.

The end was awesome. Great poem.

im emallil dose not work

I was looking to see if you'd written anything for the fictionpress jubilee, and thought that, as I was here, I may as well review something else anyway. (After I scrolled through the treacherous fog of your profile. Too long for my brain to cope with... )

I liked the fact that this has a rythmn and that it rhymes, because, as cool as free-verse is, I find it very hard to critique it simply because it's...well...free...and stuff...

You kept the metre quite well, though there were a couple of points where I thought it sounded as though it needed an extra syllable to read smoothly:

"Ever let her see -"

and

"With all the problems she had."

I'm not sure how you could add in that extra little syllable, but that would make the metre sound easier.

The mood and point was clear, but it was quite abstract at the same time, which I really quite liked. The last two lines were quite awesome, as was the summary (Which was what attracted me in the first place). Very powerful and quite dark.

find the young in you...whole new meaning...anyhoo i find it...sad.

rhyming really adds power. i really like this poem a lot... really eerie, really meaningful.

Wow... just, wow... i don't know what else to say... god, I wish I could write like you

~the unimportant item

Really emotional, likes it lots.

i enjoyed this...altho the thought of any child crying makes me upset.

so incredible, this piece. i...wow, i'm sorry for the brevity, i just can find no words. this poem just...resonates that well with me. keep it up, hon
~ katy x0x0x

wow. that was deep. but awesome. well done! i loved it!
chek out my stuff too plz. thnx
kiran

cool poem it has a nice rythem 2 it.
~Micky

Simply written but full of emotion. Words can really sting the heart sometimes huh? But they are only words but um words make poems... LOL >_< *too tired* I like your stuff on here, your opinions.. you're very talented I must say and should post some new things! And your "Gay is Ok!" essay was very well written, not sure if I put a review in for that or not.. meh. Keep on writing.
Check out some of my stuff sometime, it would make my day! ~_^ -Jenna xx

So sad... But also very well written. Congrats! ...I think that's how you spell it, at least... O_o I am a horrid speller. Well, great poem!
~Demon Donatello