Dear Island Pirate Buddies,
Hey, that was great! I watched the whoole thing. Best reality show ever. Except one suggestion: when all you gits arrive at the next island, be sure to have monkey butlers by the time you're done conquering it. Trust me, you'll like it.
Oh, and I can be an animal tamer! I have no experience whatsoever, and I'm sure there'd be a better job for me, but I really don't know. It can't be hard! And I don't matter... I come from the Cold Lands, so the heat will kill me faster than anything. But I will give you permission to use my scrawny hide for sustinance.
Your best buddy,
Kingpin the Jester

Are you sure that you didn't really do this?

That was the most fun I've had in weeks! Well, since I blew up at 2 complete jerks and left them with wet pants, anyway...
Revenge on David, definately. Go Ravyn, and KILL THE CAMERAS! Fav. story, definately! Need to show friends this...