Wow, that's a very cheese-y television! Again, I like the characters and their random conversation. It's interesting and strange, and it's cool that you've highlighted ten seconds in the life of these teenagers.
On the other hand, you do have an awful habit of giving way too much background. We like the dialogue, but we don't care where they're sitting or how long they've known each other. But, seeing how I've already said that once, I'd also like to call attention to your ubiquitous typos and strange phrasings. In the beginning especially, you tend to use passive voice. These things are quite annoying when trying to get into a story!
--Yna, from the Review Marathon (see the link in my profile!)

very discriptive and oddly funny. The repetiveness of cheese commercials was very funny and concidential. Very Good!

M... cheese...
Well, that was random. Well written for being so random, but... Yeah. Randomness is fun.

Most strange... almost surreal. Do you have some crazy cheese fascination?