Love this story
can't wait for more :)

Hey, sorry but I don't really like this story.
The words you have chosen aren't really very entertaining and the fact that there is way too much exaggeration on actions, which after awhile loses it's humor.
The storyline is ok, but if you choose better words to express yourself it will make the plot much more intersting.
So bascially, choose some of your words more carefully and don't go too much into childish humor, some is ok and light-hearted entertainment, but you have really used to much.
Also I read a bit where Candy told Rose something about rember something or other in chinese, however I could not figure out what the words were. Some with where Homey had a 2x24, i think it was, stuffed in his mouth by accident by Dave. Try to make it a little clearer so that your readers can tell your meaning, but make them have to carefully think and deduce from it.
Sorry about this long criticism, but I really hope you will take this and try to improve your writing, because I, myself have tried to write some constructive criticism, it's actually the longest comment I've ever written, so feel special and use it wisely. =)
Good luck!

And now, another review for a different chapter 17...

I was stunned to see another chapter so soon! Not that any of us mind, of course... it was funny. I loved Dude's line, "Why wouldn't we recognize that clingy little whelp? He only follows us everywhere." And how the only reason Joe's their friend is because they asked to borrow a piece of paper from him. That's just great. It was a little weird seeing Rose and Homey acting like an actual couple, but at the same time, it was sort of cute. In a very sick and twisted way. And the last part was good, like with how Candi was wondering where Dude was earlier, and then he turned up to be at Joe's house. I just hope that everything turns out alright, since everything turns out to not be going that well... good chapter though!

Hi! First of all, congratulations! ^^ And now, the actual review.
So worth waiting a year for. You have made my day. That was just too funny with Dude telling the story of how Joe went into a Gollum-like state after Melody moved (I remember reading that story, that was a sad one...) and the utter cluelessness and stupidity of Homey and Rose's sadism... oh, how I've missed this story. I loved all of the Lord of the Rings references, especially the part where Joe bit Homey's finger! I practically fell out of my chair laughing so hard. Oh man... that was a great chapter.

Yay! *and there is much rejoicing* glad to see you're still alive

how both hilarious and sad. it's nice to see how you updated (FINALLY, GOD) but i realize how busy you are. i guess i shouldnt be complaining, considering you are re-writing my story. which, by the way, thanks. i guess i got to stop doing that...

and congrats on getting engaged

hey, it's me

oh, so god! the extra o's mean i love it!...sorry

but seriously, this one is so well written (excep for the typos, but hey, it's a rought draft). i dont want joe to be depressed. it makes me depressed. you convey the feelings very well. you have a way in writing this as if it actually happened to you. i'm glad you started writing again! ^^

hahaha wow, this is funny stuff...

geez, part of me wants to laugh and the other part of me wants to cry and it's all going to come out funny, and not the haha-funny, but not the weird-funny but the how-the-heck-am-I-supposed-to-react-funny! IT'S LIKE LISTENING TO NUMA NUMA WHILE READING A SAD GAME STORY! (uh, ignore that) >sigh< I think this is one of my favorite chapters, because of more character depth with Rose especially, because I just KNEW she couldn't be all mean! Although it was just a little creepy how nice she was...just a little...I feel so sad for Joe.And...I think...does he still have a chance with Amy?Oh, and just so you know, I don't think the last chapter was too dramatic! It was great! ^^ You saw my review! Well, I think you did at least...cuz when I hit the "submit review" button, I got the "Page cannot be displayed" thing...But anyways, sometimes ya need the drama.Oh, and Homey thinks he's a cat now? That's great. That was a stroke of BRILLIANCE on your part. great chapter!

hey, its me

wow. that's a really let-down. it had it's funny moments, but i mostly had me sad. the part that i thought was funny (well, not ha ha funny, but ironic funny) was the line

"It's going to be a long day..." Rose muttered rubbing her temple

i thought that was funny mainly for the fact that it made it seem like rose was the one being put through all the troubles and pain...well, it made me smile

the last line had me thinking, "whoa, that's good. that is really really good." i got to say, you are a great writier. i'm glad i'm reading this, (and if you ever get anything published, i can be all like, oh yeah, i read and reviewed his stuff. kiss my ** everyone else who didnt.) well, maybe not quite that, but still

hey, its me

ah, it's over. i really like this story, i ca't wait for you to continue. it has all the right stuff. each character has such depth and detail. and the stupidier the stuff they say, the more i laugh. i'm dissipointed that it has ended, but am excited that i'll be able to read more later one. best of luck in writing it, hope it's done soon!

hey, it's me

sorry about my last review, i accidently pressed tab and enter without realzing it.

anyways, all of those chapter were really funny. you got some really talent on your hands. my favorite was "Candy's Plan" mainly cause i could easily imagine homey swirling all over the place with a 2x4 in his mouth. i also thought it was funny how joe just couldn't get the point that everyone was making...i get the feeling alot.

i love in "the secret awakening of Joe" how all that noise is being made and no one seems to notice. i find it odd though that he has no parents there. unless they're just as heavy sleepers as joe is, which i can understand.

well, i hope to finish this soon, ad i hope that you'll be adding more onto it, also!

hey, its me

hey, its me

very very very funny. have you ever considered writing this as a screenplay, cause i could easily see this a being a cartoon or anime. it would be really funny.

and so far, my favorite boy...homey

my favorite girl...rose. she reminds me of my sister...in an errie sort of way

uber funny, man. i dont read a lot of stories that are funny, mostly drama and crap, but i really like this story. it's got descriptive characters, a great story, some hilarious lines, and is suprisingly relateable. it amazes me on how few of people read your stories. well, i'm glad i found it.

oh, and thanks saying that i helped you out alot. it made me feel all warm inside.