I agree with everything P.H. Wise said.

This was relly good,
i wote a poem onc about death and my sister FREAKED out, so i know how you feel.
keep writing, yout good
read my story, tired
ta ta for now

I like it a lot. It is indepth. Very deep.

Using the apple as a symbolism of your past life is quite ok. I understand the feeling. I once wanted to commit suicide. I also keep on lying to my mother that everything's perfectly ok. It's the easiest escape for any child suffering from pain. we all think no one would ever care for who we are. We all think no one would mourn because of losing our existence. It's perfectly understandable when they do let the knife slash the vein of existence; to cut the strings and to go to the next world. But no one really knows if something in the future will help us relieve the pain...

Wow... great story. Very deep.

It's too short. I'm not given a chance to get to know the characters. I have no emotional investment here, and you don't give me time to make one.
Who is this girl, Annaya? Who is her mother? Where do they come from? Why is she killing herself? Does her mother suspect that something like this is going to happen? What about her friends and loved ones? Did they know? Are they left broken in the wake of the suicide, wishing too late that they had said something sooner? Were they taken completely by surprise? What were Annaya's hopes and dreams? What were her wants and needs?
You can't just show me a sixteen year old girl killing herself and expect it to move me. Who is this girl? Is her suicide just an incredibly rash acting out of that angst that so many teenagers seem to have, that seems so all-consuming when you have it that you can't recognize it for the insipidly banal thing that it is, or does she have real reasons to kill herself?

It's sad the people that feel life is so bad they have to end it. I believe that when you die you reincarnate so why choose to end your life early to just come back in another form? Anyway touching.

do you need help? please don't do anything their are people who love you please donj't try anything Even if you poem is dark its good.