okay, let me put it this way... the way you phrase things (not only in this one but in the song before it) is just... awesome. Love it. ;) already, off to read the rest. Woo hoo!

Dotty, very much.

So, well, that's the way it is. Equilibrium? I never had it.

Brilliantly flowing. It allows for so much.

I'm confused. Are the last two lines still part of the poem?
Anyway, great job.

interesting use of periods... is the apologetic thing at the bottom part of the poem? cuz if its not, then dont submit it in the document

actaully i think the periods give a lil sense of anticiaption and what's really going on. sort of like a baboom sound in a movie, the part when you know sumthings not right. nice touch i would say