interesting. i really liked it. for the most part, your grammar and what not was excellent but i did notice a few mistakes or areas of weakness. in particular, the fact that you like to repeat words.
>>Eventually I stopped responding, and eventually fell asleep

Another example of excellent work by the illustrious cello. I agree with one of the previous reviewers, who mentioned something I hadn't even noticed: the mere fact that you didn't use any names at all, aside from the symbolic one (guardian). Another thing is that you render the idea of love much better than I've seen from other authors. Your story is moving and intriguing. Congratulations on a finished work! Now go, minion, and finish the others ;)

hey! i thought this was a really great story - i love your style of writing, and the plot was interesting and really touching. with your little hints of how the character only thought that the girl was perfect made me think that she might do something horrible later, but it's really uplifting that she didn't..
i also like the way you didn't actually use any names at all in the story - it was a little confusing, considering the man had many friends, but it had a great effect in making the story seem more detached (in a good way)...
again, congrats on the fantastic piece - it really reminds you what love is about. keep up the great work!

No, it's a completed story. The rest, I leave to your imagination, I suppose.

I like this chapter! Are you going to continue with this...czuase it's a really nice idea!
Chandi
p.s Come check out my writing and I'd be truly grateful!