Wow, very nicely done with developing the characters... but what of Gareth and Taryn? Anyway, great story... if there was a rating system of some sort, I suppose that I'd give a 10/10 or a smiley or some odd rating that is supposed to mean 'best'.

i loved the summary lol. pretty cool story

oohh. nice chap. finally getting to why daniel is so ticked. and it's nice that it's such a... human reason. one we can relate to. i really like that. great job. keep going!

awesome chap. very well though out - the room is perfect!! i'm a bit confused on the transition from 11 to 12... i thought taryn and gareth picked him up... but perhaps they did and you'll explain later how that resulted in his being in the room. anyway - very cool!

wow... I feel for the people, I gotta say. The destruction was a little cold, but I'm guessing you were going for that. This is like "Independence Day" from the alien's point of view. ^.^ Write on!

aww, the poor children!
so is the reason they're doing this gonna be explained eventually? i mean, okay, yeah, people are corrupt but so what, you gotta destroy civilization? what gave them the idea and the right?
and also - Kieran is a mage, right? so where's his partner?
Great chapter! Update soon?
-Raisin

Very good. I just kind of wandered into it, but then it caught me and I read it all. I'll be back to see where it goes next.

yes!! awesome story!!
*adds author to author alert list*
update soon please? :)

Its good to see that the group have an adversary of similar power to fight against... From the early part of the story I just assumed that when they were ready Kieran's gang would walk out of the door an instantly deal death to the world.
This is really good writing, the characterisation of Daniel is good and the dialogue is strong. The plot itself is starting to develop nicely

I can hear "mwahahaha" at the end of this chap! Very nice - now that the team is united it's going to be fun to watch them work. And Daniel's intro was very well done. Keep it up!! ^_^

I'm back. ^_^ Cool chap - shows how the mages use their power pretty well. I was a little confused by Kieran's accident at the end...it seemed like it came from nowhere, but then I'm still sleep-deprived so I'll have to read it again later. Even after 2 weeks away this story still has my attention. Keep it up!!

That's an excellent introduction (8 chapters worth!). I can't wait for more...
The characters are developed really well in the early stages, and throughout there is the undercurrent of something major to come.
Obviously the city is to be destroyed, but all the characters are sympathetic at the moment. I can't see where the evil comes from, or what the reason for their anger may be. Or Kieran's anger. How does he bend them towards his aim? Or do they have the same urges as him naturally?
So many questions. Please update soon.

Nice. I love Gareth's reaction to Taryn. The only thing I wonder... if Taryn has an insurance policy, it would name beneficiaries that would be contacted... minor point, but it raises a question about how she was released without others being contacted. Anyway... I love it; very into the story (duh) and ready for more!

Every chap makes the concept of the story more clear. It's cool how you're building the explanation without really explaining it all. Makes me wonder how long this puppy's gonna be, but it's good so I really don't care. ^.^ One thing in this chap I noticed - I had to think a couple times to know who was talking (because the name following the quote was the start of the reaction... just not used to that, I guess). Does that make sense? Eh, if not, we'll chat about it. Could be that I'm at school now and the brain is in math mode.
Oh - as for the convo - don't worry 'bout it at all! It's all good. ^_~

Just letting you know I'm still entranced by your story. Wondering about the R rating... was it like that the whole time and I'm just very unobservant? Makes me very curious where you're headed (as if I wasn't curious enough before).