Questions about this story:

1. How big are the spiders? Are they like normal, tarantula-sized spiders, or humungous like the ones in The Giant Spider Invasion on Mystery Science Theater 30? (Hilarious!)

2. Why does no one ever say the name of the reality show they were filming? Was it based on a real show and that's why you can't tell the name? Why didn’t you make a name up?

3. What does it mean when it says the discovery of the doctor's body was grizzly? Was he all ripped up like a grizzly bear had mauled him? Or did you mean grisly as in gruesome?

4. When Joanna says, "I have an allegory to bee stings," what does that mean? Does it mean that she knows some kind of secret symbolism for beestings, or did you mean to say allergy?

5. When Joanna dreams about the nurses whose faces were "bloated with puss," does this mean the spider venom had made them all crazy so they ate a whole bunch of stray cats and it made their faces fat? Or did you mean bloated with pus?

6. Why didn't they try to save Todd's roommate when he was being gored by a spider?

7. Why don't you tell the name of the nurse they saved from the web? It would make readers empathize more and make them happier she was saved if she had a name.

8. Why isn't the last sentence the one about Todd being glad that he is alive? The sentence about taking the nurse to the hospital could have been worked in before that. As the last sentence it is kind of anticlimactic.

9. Do you want to hear my idea of what would have been really cool? If the spiders really WERE vampires, and their venom DID turn their victims into other giant, blood-drinking spiders. Then the doctor who killed himself would have been grisly-looking because he was halfway through changing into a spider! And the size of the spiders would be solved because they would be human-sized.

howdy nickolaus, i followed your temple of dagon message over to this site. it looks like a really powerful tool for getting constructive feedback, so i'm thinking of putting up my story as well. anyway, here are a few thoughts i had while reading 'house of spiders':

i can see from your writing that you are very enthusiastic about the ideas you're trying to get across. you are eager to phrase things in a dramatic way, and that's a good energy to have.. but i think you let it run away with you. you seem to want the entire story to be a climax or a culmination, and not waste your time on less exciting aspects of the storytelling process.

also noticeable is your fondness mentioning things that 'can't be described.' i think it happened about 3 times in this story.. at some point, people are going to wonder, 'then what exactly is the writer's job here?'

i don't want to repeat other critical remarks, but this one just can't be overstated: proofread, edit, rewrite repeatedly. mistakes with language really put an unfortunate tarnish on an otherwise worthwhile story. for example, you used grizzly for grisly; puss for pus, and allegory for allergy.

in conclusion, it's obvious to me that you love storytelling, and want to be a great writer. i'm not a great writer, but i believe i can help you improve—if you are receptive. let me know if this interests you, and i'll show you what i mean. in any case, keep writing!

Coolies, I like this story a whole lot. Freaking awesome, I personally like your vision of horror, its slightly twisted, yet chilling at the same time. ^^ I must say, don't EVER listen to the losers that say your style of writing is not 'working for them'.

Because what you're doing is going against what is usually seen in writing today! ^_^ And that is rebellious, man. Mostly people hate excepting new techniques, the close minded **. o>O But, I embrace it openly. Go you awesome person, you XD lol

loserz. ;)

This can be improved a lot, and I'd like to see it in polished form. You have too many grammatical errors and you switch tenses a lot.

I remember when you wrote this way back, it was a nice creative idea, a shame it got pulled from whatever website that was due to somebody whining and moaning about it, but on to new stories huh? You always have a new idea for something.

Now that I finally have time to review this, here we go:
Bottom line is this: it's a great piece of fiction, but there are things to remedy, some typos, for example: 'I don’t makes sense'.
Also the way the characters speak is odd; very formal.
It's also very vague, the spiders are never really described, for all the reader knows these things can be tiny and meek, why not describe their 'large bulbous, hairy bodies' for example? You have to remember that spiders are some of the most feared creatures on the planet and although you have used this to your advantage there are still many oppurtunities to exploit this further.
I like the description of the dead bodies, all pus-filled and stuff.
I'd appreciate it if you could R&R some more of my stuff if you have the time, thanks.
~ JD

That was creepy and very good. I like your descriptions and settings. They're done very well. You're becoming an incredible author. ~I.W.

Here's my pledge to you, Nicky: each time you take down the review I leave for your story, I will return the following day and post it again. Either gain control of Fictionpress and ban reviews, or be prepared to spend a lot of time taking down reviews that don't praise your collection of misspelled words. Here's my review: this was terrible. Learn to spell first, then learn how to write. Hope that helps!

Awesome, terrifying, and deliciously horrific are the only words I can use to describe it. I was guessing till the end. Few modern horrors bestial fear in me, but with your story I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing before they entered the hospital. I loved it.

My heart is pounding. I couldn't breathe for more than half the story. It's amazingly written. It's dark and terrifying with constant suspense and the writing style is really unique. I love the idea of the vampiric spiders! It's really creative!
Sincerely,
Beguile
PS: Thank you for reviewing my story on fanfic. I'll bookmark the story and add the spiders in (with your permission, of course) to my Van Helsing story. Thank you.

Cool, I suspected a different ending...but great idea...I won't be surprised the day that someone dies on a reality show...we can only imagine what will entertain us in the future...It seems like we're devolving...

I like the idea behind it, Nick. I like it very much. I also like the overall feel of it, the creepy overtone. I think that you need to proofread it, though, since I saw some typos and extra words kicking around. Like you were gonna write the sentence one way and decided to change the order and forgot to eliminate a few words. Aside from those things, not bad at all.

Hello again!
THis was good. I enjoyed it more than some of the others, and I keep thinking. 'Wow, I need to go and finish that book. Wait...that was just his story.' Which is something I've only done a few times. Though that could be a phsycological problem or something...don't think so...well, you've probably tired of my rambling by now, so I'll get on with it. THere weren't any typos, which was good, and I found the video diaries interesting. (Though this was probably intentional, I have to mention the fact that using more variety in you words would help the flow.) But really very good. Well, I've got to go now. Bell's about to ring. Later!
Gata de la Noche

Thanks for reveiwing my story 'ASL'.
As for yours, it fits right into the classic genre but the twists make it different and interesting. Todd seems to be a very interesting chracter. Will you be doing-- dare i say it:P -- a sequel?

Wow... I'm not sure exactly what to say. This has to be one of your best stories, Nick! Hospitals themselves earn their own reputation for being generally creepy or even kind of nice to be around. You captured a lot of the suspense and horror one might find or experience in such a scenario. Spiders have been feared for quite some time and you seem to make that legacy live on within this story! Great job! I really wish it were longer. Either way it's a good read for anyone. I won't be surprised if I find your name on a book in a store anytime soon. Your work is pure genius! Keep it up and hopfully you'll have more just liek this in the future!