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| Earthsong12 2004-05-01 ch 1,   | This is great! You were writing like this in seventhe grade? Wow, I’m impressed! I love the description in this-I really feel like I’m standing there on the beach myself. I only have a few criticisms: paragraph one: ”lone” and ”lonely” sound a bit funny this close together...on second thought, I can’t think of a better way to say it, so whatever. It’s fine how it is. paragraph two, sentence five: semicolon after dunes. last sentence: “Their cries...to be swept away“ is funny. I think you want ”are swept away”. Thank you tons for all your reviews! Have a...hmm. Here, have an eraser! *hands over an eraser* About The Quest, the reason it sounds young at first is I started it two years ago, then put it aside. I only came back to it a little bit ago. Wow, I think this is the first serious review I’ve given you! Hope you don;t mind. Oh, and thanks for the cookie and the staple. What happened to the paperclip? Just wondering. ^_^ |
| freethephoenix 2004-04-19 ch 1, | Oh so pretty... makes me think of summer time and popcicles. *happy sigh* I like your diction, wonderful phrasing and the way you made sounds while sparingly using onomatopoeia. Nice work, one of your best ever. It's Poetry in Prose. :) |
| Matthew James Current 2004-04-11 ch 1, | An impressive and very well-written piece. Complements on your excellent snapshot of the ocean. I really enjoyed reading it! |
| Akura loves Sanzo 2004-04-09 ch 1, | Oh!! I did something like this in Yr 7 too!! Except mine was on Zelda... ohh... Link is such a hot bishie... *drools over Link's chibi GBC form* :P |