A well-written piece that preys on the reader's emotions with the descriptive language used. It is very realistic, yet abstract at the same time. This story describes what a child would do in any number of stressful and painful situations. However, you could have elaborated more on what actually happened (unless of course you were trying to write an abstract piece, which seems like you were.)

Jesus Christ!It's good.Very good.Quite...not scary, exactly but...haunting I guess.

I love you Tayln.

Ohmigosh.

I saw that coming.

But still.

Bam.

Eek.

Have I mentioned that I love your writing. Because it rocks my cauliflower. Which is, by the way, a good thing. A VERY good thing. lol.

Did her mother DIE?! Dude... what's with you and killing people? You can't do it in real life so you do it stories? I worry about you sometimes.

~Meg

*sob... this is such a sad scene... nicely written to protray the little girl's feeling of desperation... :D

AHH you almost made me cry! *wipes eyes* This is so sad! You portrayed the feeling of hopelessness very well. You have alot of talent! :)