ONE COMMENT! DOUBLE SPACE!! im really sorry, i can't finish it!! ah! my eyes hurt!! DOUBLE SPACE! PLEASE!

This is really good, but I like the first one the best. I like how you can give such detail and still move the story forward. The fourth was pretty good, too. The last one, the fifth one, didn't really speak too much about Despair and Hope, more like Consequences. Truthfully, I didn't like the fifth one that much. The third one kind of confused me, but I love the imagery.

But the first one is the best. I really like that one. I can't get it out of my head.

I would like to compliment you on your tantalizing story summary. (man always has a choice. it's in the rules). That's the reason I read the story at all. I almost skipped over it, but it was that summary that made me pause.

First, problems, though there were few (for that I praise you): There are random periods in the middle of sentances. Maybe it's a ficpress thing, a formatting problem. Then there was Hope. She WAS blind, right? So how could she stare in his eyes at the end? Unless I'm missing something which is highly likely because of the time and how tired I am (which is very tired).

Now, things I liked, which were numerous so I will only list a few: The dialogue, the train of thought, the humanizing (if that's the word) of Hope and Despair (I'm a sucker for those sort of things), descriptions, etc, etc, etc. Your writing sort of reminds me of Dean Koontz- at least slightly, and I am reading a book of his right now so I am thinking, seeing, eating Dean Koontz books right now... if that makes any sense. Again, I note my level of conciousness.

I will return to read more when I am less tired and am not involved in a game of Canasta.

Yeah, you sent me this one to read--it kicks. ^_^ It's a great stand-alone, but could also be part of a big story with madames Hope and Despair. A very nice piece of text. :D

This story is absolutely amazing. I especially like the way you use images to present the feelings and moods of characters, like the descriptions of Hope and Despair. I also like the way that you introduced the story, with small things mentioned at first that bloomed into understanding of who Bill is, and how he is feeling.
Overall, this is one of the best pieces I've read here. A rare gem among the chaff, Good for you!
Kudos,
Girlbrainiac