This is good. But I do have one small criticism..lol. I'm guessing that this is set in the early 1900's? If so, then I would suggest changing the line "I was gotten up and dresed by a house slave..." and "A slave girl burned a dish for supper and she was whipped." Because that suggests that slavery exists in the story and slavery was abolished during the Civil War.
But anyway...lol.
I like the fact that you keep comparing the two girls' lives. Very good writing. Keep it up! :)

I really like this. Very creative. I like the vivid discriptions.

she had better have given you full marks on this. its awesome! i like how you kind of compare the two lives, but don't outright say whose who. this is a really great poem.

Okay, let the non-English spell checking critic step up first ;-)
"get as much cone as I can" - done?
"filing in son after the sun" - soon?
Anyway, after that... This really IS a piece with interesting comparisons. In one sense, spiritually, you wonder which one of the two really has the riches of life... Well thought out and well executed in my opinion.

Was this really written impromptu? It's quite nice. I like how you didn't force the parallels, and didn't (for the most part) hammer them home.