oh...this is definately one of my all time favorites! If only I had more room on my favorite stories list. GAH! Oh well, this is just so so so so amazing! Great job!
Your one and only liebling,
Hawke

wow ive felt this way before too. sucks but hey, part of life. nice poem.

absolutely beautiful description. I especially love "Joy becomes a bitter memory,/I have fallen away from myself" and "Watch me fall to myself, alone,/You cannot help me now."

Very descriptive, hauntingly almost. And I'm sure you'll break free.

This sounds like something a metal band like Iced Earth or Bling Guardian might sing. I suspect, though, that sounding like a Tolkien Metal song was your goal. The stanza that starts "Watch me fall to myself, alone" would definately be the chorus.
The 'chorus', as I 've dubbed it, shows a great amount of rhythm which is largely missing from the 'verses' which get the point across. And what a point! I can't be sure what inspired it, but I must say, you eloquently expressed your point. Bravo.

Great job, as usual! The end was cool, but I think my fave bit was "In the story of failure I am a tragic hero,
My demons fly upwards to bind my will again, I fall down, down, dragged towards the embers of my inequities." Well, as I said, great poem and keep up the good work! :)