wow.
this is kinda like a haiku.
but still,keep writing!

Funny, this has a sensual feel to it.
Did you intent that?

Beautiful work! I love the last line... and yes, it very much captures the soul of a haiku ;-) Keep writing!

I like it, but it's not really a haiku. o_O

Nice job, nonetheless.

Keep writing.

~Namir Swiftpaw