Brilliant. LOVElovelove the last line. What a great twist.

Whoa alrighty then nice stuff seeya

thanks for the review. good job here. interesting concept put across and you approached it rather well.

!
*speachless*

wow... that was very.. sexual? ahhaah]
Anna

I like that last line _

Good description, you can almost feel suffocated by the sugar the way you put it. Nice ending too

The imagery in this poetry is amazing. One can see the sweetness oozing and dripping off the person. The last like kind of awakens you out of the spell of sweetness and makes you realize the awful sense behind the sweetness. Very well done.

hah. i love the last line.
fabulous imagery.
the form seems a little awkward for some reason... otherwise excellent.

Sweet.
Like cyanide.

Great work! I enjoyed that...
(btw, the past tense of 'to melt' is 'molten' not 'melted'...just a HU) ;)

Yet again... Brilliance!

Wow, the talent bubbles over in this poem. Your skill in themeing the entire thing is very impressive. I suggest my peom Unrequited Love as a side order ( sorry for all the bad jokes) to this. It is great to see such a well written poem that also is presented beautifully, that is a skill hard to master and employ with all the things that can be affected when uploading poems to this site. I have a word to describe your work is the oven (sorry) but I cant get it. OHH OHH phenomonal, thats it.
Good luck (lol, inside jokes already)
Nine Iron

o chills!
this was so beautiful, the descriptives were solid and interesting
the last line-frightening and unexpected
"Rivulets of syrup drip-drop from the lashes."
a line like that is just amazing

You SO should be paper-published! There is a book you can get that show you how to write cover letters and lists magazines and stuff!