The last line is a bit redundant, and I think there's probably another way to word that still conveys the meaning. Other than that, this is pretty good.

i like it.

it was a little difficult to follow but after the third time I read it I really enjoyed it. I love the ideas and the cold truth n your words. good job.

wow that's really awesome. i know someone like that girl in the poem. what inspired you to write it?

Another beautiful poem. The imagery is nice in here, and I like how you set it up. Keep up the good work. Hasta luego.
chibichocobo

i dont know what ur talking about! ur lacking talent in writting! thats BS and you know it! great poem. )

nice. i love the last line. )

I love the imagery and the formatting.

What is this? WHAT IS THIS? Making me do all the work on my own...finding this poem with my amazing detective skills. pssh. Is this the long lost poem? I love the parenthesis action. I love the whole concept that you painted in the beginning, in particular how she's happily living her life through yesterday because she didn't enjoy it then. And then how the whole poem changes, reality sits in...
Bravo, bravo! And all the other things obnoxious people usually yell out a hundred times before someone smacks then with their purse and their false teeth fly out of their mouth and "Oh my god, who's teeth just landed in my water?"

very unique style you have there, impressive! :O)
Review me if you're free!
summerdazed