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| OldJoe 2004-05-08 ch 1, | This is really good, but you should put a little more detail in and break it into seperate chapters. |
| ElasStar 2004-04-23 ch 1, | This was a very nice piece. The only thing that could be better was how fast everyone died. If they hadnt all died or ifthey died in a cross fire or something it would be less rapid. |