|Reviews for Darkness and Light|
| elasandra 6/21/04 . chapter 4
Wow...I luv u're story! Great charactrers, luv them all! Hope you update soon!
| spidey waz here 10 min ago 6/20/04 . chapter 4
I really really like it!
keep up the good work!
| the world woke up without me 6/14/04 . chapter 4
Awesome, dude, this just keeps on getting better.
Oh man, I'm gonna have to dedicate a chapter to you, or something, just as a way of saying 'thank you' for everything. I'm gonna try and make it the most beautiful, nonsensical stretch of wordage ever seen. Sound cool?
Dude, don't you ever quit writing. Ever.
| Krisian Rose 6/14/04 . chapter 4
Aw. I feel honored! [And, I have updated Quest for the Crystal, for your information. Though, I did call Smoke 'Smock' once by accident. Eh... I'm too lazy to fix it right now.] Anyway, I'm moving on to the review.
Ooh... Dare. I wonder if he ever got teased about that name. Still, Dare rocks my sock off! Yes! Silver eyes... that is still really cool. [I'm sensing idea overlaps. Smoke has silver eyes too! Hehehe!] Yes! It sounds like he could gove ol' Aragorn a run for his money, and that's saying something! Hm, I did notice, you had periods in random places, and no commas after your characters spoke. Erm... Did I confuse you with that, cause I confused myself. Ah! Example!
"I let her go" The King turned to his wife, a desperate need for understanding in his golden eyes, " her go."
To be grammatically correct, it SHOULD be: "I let her go," The King turned to his wife, a desperate need for understanding in his golden eyes, "I let her go."
Ta-da! That's the only thing I really noticed, besides a couple of spelling errors. Hey, we all do that! My editor/friend Lily says "Type-o's happen, like life." Hehehe! I loved this chappie! [And the fact you think I'm as sweet as waffles! Yum!] I think so far, I like Dare. Trini's just a little to arrogant for my taste. Ah, maybe she'll grow on me. [But not literally, cause that would be strange.] Ooh, dark queens and romance. I love romance! Dark queens, not so much. Hehehe!
Now write, write! Go! For you, now I have a Vero plushie! [Cause he's all soft and furry!] And a slinkie because slinkies are the coolest! Update soon!
| Alianne of Pirate's Swoop 6/13/04 . chapter 4
interesting chapter...interesting name...Dare...hm. Dare is an interesting character, i have a feeling he will be the one to keep me guessing. I think he will be mysterious.
| mwegan 6/12/04 . chapter 4
- "Time passed around the couple.." something about this phrase doesn't do it for me, maybe it's just me...
- "..husband's he.." actions. If he
| confused 6/12/04 . chapter 4
this story is so confusing! the writing is so weird.
| chibichan366 6/12/04 . chapter 4
ooh! omg, that was such a cool chappie! i mean how he has silver eyes but he's from the dark kingdom!
| Angelstar21 6/12/04 . chapter 4
A! Dude, that is so cool! Interesting way to insert romance!
| daphnegray78 6/12/04 . chapter 4
Wow. I love this chapter. Dare rules!Awesome, awesome job. Seriously, this story is going GREAT. Keep up the stellar work!
P.S. *mumbles* I know, I know. I need to update. *looks ashamed* Hopefully, there will be a new chapter by tomorrow night. ;)
| Kon Savage 6/12/04 . chapter 4
Good chapter! Dare sounds like a pretty cool character how he has become what she was (the dark heir). The battle between them was fast pace and exciting so good job their. The one thing is at the end where they chop off eachothers cloths and she goes "What was he some kind of pervert?" it sounds like he had something weird in his pants or somethin when I think your talking about him cutting her shirt. Also your response I actually don't like manga or anime, I was going to do Mango20 back in 20 but I typed it in wrong and didn't bother to change it. And now I know what you mean about silver.
| Saharian 6/12/04 . chapter 4
I definitly like Dare...and his name. I find it interesting that he is now the crown prince and not from the Dark Kingdom...But w/e. I really liked this chapter it was just as good as the last but I have a few suggestions: Do you have a beta reader? If you don't you might want to get one just to check for puntuation and grammar and such. You are pretty good about it but I found a places where you could have used another coma or the wording wasn't quite right. Oh and you might want to add in some sort of * between certain paragraphs or something just so that we are completely sure the scene is finsihed. I like your writing style, it is definetly unique but you still might want to add in a bit more detail in places, like descriptions of the characters and the places around them. It would add to the story and extend scenes a little longer. Yeah that's it. I really liked this chapter and I can't wait to find out what happens next!
| Element Sarah 6/12/04 . chapter 4
So... he became the heir of the dark kingdom after Trinity was 'killed'?Hmm...
| Amarys 6/7/04 . chapter 3
Your sotry has alot of detail and plot twists all piled together. not that thats a bad thing. The main thing i would critique is the continuity of oyur sotry. Part of your wirtng style is the shrot sentences and thats fine, but the small scenes one after another are a little hard to keep up with. if you can find a way to let your reader 'in' alittle more, let them feel some sympathy for the characters, (especially trinity, she's so bad it's sometimes hard to elarn to like her) then that would be good. i guess what i'm suggesting is Slow Down. You've got a geat stroy going, but i can't keep up at the pace your running. as it is you'll be doone in less that 10,0 words...and tha tmake sfor a bare story.
Still, i really like it. and i love the foreshadowng. Silver has lost their crown prince, eh? (dundundun) So anyway, keep writing and please review my story Shadowing. i would be ever so grateful. *bats eyelashes* thbpt! J/k. Ama
| Kon Savage 6/7/04 . chapter 3
First of all thanks for such a nice review of my story (it was suppose to be kinda creepy at first but its gonna get actiony and a lot more fun when I get a chance), really appreciate it. Great story so far, I notice how you call her trinity, and she is abandoned by her mother, like the pharoh did in some part in the bible. Also I think it's funny that such subtle things she has point to the fact that she has a strong connection to the dark kingdom (naming her horse twilight). One thing is in the prologue when you call the silver kingdom neutral what exactly do ya mean, maybe explain that a little better when ya get a chance. Hope you continue soon!