Keep it up. You'll soon publish one of your stories. To think you allowed us to be with you from the start. Thanks.

O i really like this story, it's getting really good. I can't wait for the next chapter to see what happens. Your a really good writer. ^^

The story concept is superb, but you have to work on your basic writing skills. It puts a huge thorn in this story. You have a lot of spelling errors, and some of my sentences don't make any sense. Some of your sentences are pretty flimsy in structure too. You just cannot add narratives in lil parentheses and except everything to be a-okay. That's doing things sloppily and lazily. Also, your story's a bit confusing in some parts, due to your sentence structure and not fading to another scene or whatnot 'correctly'. I'd rewrite this and repost it perhaps...nice concept and it does leave the reader wanting to know more. Least I know I do.

Great chapter! Glad to see that you've continued ^^ I like the dream sequence.

wow, thats really good, write more *fake glare* or i will hunt you own and make you *fake evil grin* hurry up with chapter 2 *smile*

Last one on the list and I'm bookmarking it. You *have* to write more. If you don't I'll send you continuous e-mails untill you do! Nah, just kidding, don't wanna get on your nerves. But seriously, continue this.

I thought it was preety good. It's like something in a collection of short stories. very very good. I can't find anything wrong with it

That's a little... scary.

Have you ever noticed how "report posible abuse" is right under "submit review"

I really like the way you use your conversation to push the story along. At first it was a bit confusing to read as the conversation jumped between characters but upon closer reading of the text I found that by doing that you actually create a sense of mystery. It makes the reader question which in turn makes them want to read more. Well done.