 Karasu no sei 2004-05-07 . chapter 1It's beautiful... but there's some things i have problems with. First, I don't think you needed to put the apostrophe in front of phone. Second, "unable to have fun" is a little out of character for this poem. I'm not sure what the Hall is, but... it seems fairly minor and the message is conveyed nevertheless. The last two lines are very powerful.
Congrats
~Karasu |