FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| graffiti-skies 2004-09-06 ch 1,   | nice poem. flows well |
| Calvin Wong 2004-07-19 ch 1, | I liked this entire poem up until White Hot Strips. It felt like agony, read like a disturbing self portrait of some goth queen. But afterwards it dissolves, the image blankens, and the disjointedness of thought comes in. Let me guess: You had a great start, but needed to finish. No harm; Seven good lines are better than none at all. Although I like the last one as well, but it doesn't fit with the ones in the between. Nice use of Capitals; certainly innovative. Roll on two. |
| asyousaid 2004-07-11 ch 1, | I especially like the line "Corruption/Of volunteers", a lot of ambiguity there! Overall this has got some really good stuff, and the imagery hits a happy medium between exact and vague: it allows the reader to read the poem on a relative level. |
| Martinet Of the Order 2004-06-30 ch 1, | POW. Gimme a sec, I have to go and look for the shards of my blown-away mind. Holy shyt! This is so damned nice! I really DO get what you mean by showing progress. This has such an awesome theme. I like the way you capitalize to emphasize certain words. The part where you talk about this 'unholy monster' and how the masses seem to feed from it, how it is corrupted by man... PHOM. Oh jeez, sorry, my mind just blew up again. Be back in a sec... Cheers. |
| marinawings 2004-05-27 ch 1, | wow. this was really beautiful. and thoughtful, too. i like it. and i look forward to reading more of your poetry. |
| chris here 2004-04-29 ch 1, | hey! this is brilliant! i like the... the... new-ness in it... hm, not much to say about it, see you! |
| simpleplan13 2004-04-27 ch 1, | i like it a lot... I like the capitalizations... awesome job |
| Aimee Raven 2004-04-26 ch 1, | Hey Izlinda! OMG it's been so long chica! *hugs* I like this a lot...it's even spooky but the choice of words is amazing...and the way you begin some with a capital makes them much more powerful...this is scary because it's so mentally deep...it's awesome chica! Please write more if you can, I love this! Love, Mia |