You have some really good ideas and diction here. Poems, like musical instruments, can sound better and better the more time you spend tuning them. So don't be afraid to tune. I mean what you have here is very good, but I think that the repetition is slightly overused. It's an easy thing to tweak, or "tune" as it were. In any case, I've had this problem myself several times. It doesn't mean the poem is bad, just that it can be a great poem if giving a bit of tuning. I hope that I phrased this review in a helpful manner. Best of luck to you in all your poetic endeavors.