*slowly claps in awe* I believe you've captured the change perfectly. I suppose, since you classify it as just 'evil' it doesn't have to be just hate, one could also read it in a supernatural setting for vampires, werewolves, etc.,

It's well written, but I have to say that I like the style that is yours and only yours. Don't sacrifice what you think and feel and the way you want to put that for the sake of "professional style." You on your own are wonderful; never sacrifice that to seem more admirable or mature.

So dark and so...wow. I'm sorry if that seems so cliche, but I'm feeling sort of numb to it all. Honestly though, I like this.
Hawke

The first two paragrphs I don't like; they seem too cliche. But the rest of it is perfect. You're painfully descriptive (as always ;)), and you can really get a visual of what you're saying. Very, very nice! :)

Wow... this is really good...
I like the format and the parts
"For I have forgotten to be
Me" and
"My eyes change from white to black"
The only thing I have a problem with is in the third paragraph/stanza/woteva (-_-;;)
"all that vital red nourishment" just doesn't seem right... to me anyway. Otherwise a wonderful read.
Karasu

That was well written. I like your professional style poems. Have you ever read the poem 'Ping' ? This one reminds me of it. Although the styles are completely different, I just got the same feelings.
Anyway, nice work, keep on being an inspiration to us.

Wow, it's almost as if you experienced a heart attack first-hand. The image here is amazingly vivid. Well done!
agid

nice job! )
p.s.
how do you get a pic to show up on your profile?

i like it :)

Wow! That was very powerful and professional-like! :) I loved the metaphor! Great job!