Well, I don't know about this. It was very well written but I think you need something more interesting to happen at the beginning, that'll catch more of my attention. Still good, though.

its a pretty good idea, and it was well written, but i think if it was lengthened a little i would like it more. the alternate ending was a lot better then the first one btw.-DragonsDream

Well, I liked the story. Grant it, I only like it because I'm the type of person paranoid of anything abnormal. However, it slightly bored me... mostly because the ending seemed too,... hm... typical? I just read the summary and could guess the ending.

Either way, personally I like the second ending best.

hey...i liked the first ending better.. so creepy..

That actually shocked me, this was pretty good. I don't know what else to say... The ending was really good, well not as in a happy ending but it was writen well.

HOLY CRAP THIS IS TRIPPY! AH! i like the first ending better, but DAMN! scarry as all hell!

I liked this one, most definitely. I loved Brian's character, how perfectly...normal...he is, which adds to the story. I prefer the first ending; it's so well written. Write more! :)

I don't know what to say about this story. It was just, Oh my god! I loved the second chapter the best! Please keep up the good work! I will definitely read more of your work!

I like the second ending best! Why haven't you comment on my stories in a very long time? I'm working on a new series called "Chaos Garden". (I guess you were too busy with your stories/ other things.) I hope "Chaos Garden" would come to your liking.

ElainaKitty

P.S:I'm getting better with dialoge. I hope you could give me some helpful hints in case I mess up.

Well that was a good read. I liked them both but prefer the second ending to the first.

what the crap! that was freaky. wow. that was the best horror story i've ever read. it was...freaky...but not too much. lol. that was terrific. it's definately going on my fav. story list. that was awesome. great descriptions.

by the way thanks for your review, i'll have to go back and fix the spelling mistakes. thanks!

keep writing this was kashe

So, so cool, I love it! Excellent work!

i love it. if u get an agent id read ur books. bye bye

*screams loudly* Perfect! B-e-a-utiful!I like reading a story that isn't from the perspective of a child. There are quite few of those hanging around, and I have to admit I'm guilty of the same. This climaxed perfectly. You flow fairly well, but there seems to be a few hang ups that you hit occasionally. Like the big blue eyes sentence, its a bit of a run on. Nahce! I'll be back to read more. :-)

Two words to describe the ending: Pure genius! I loved it!
ShAtTeR*