Hehe, this story is interesting so far. Yeah, I'm back...a "friend" of mine hacked into my old account and destroyed it. So now I had to remake my account. Anyway, on to your critique. I didn't see much grammar mistakes. You did rather well with spelling. As for your question about my story, The Crest of Ares...the character backgrounds won't appear until later on. I kinda sped things up so we can get to the tournament part.

Well done. Keep up the good storylines. I love the character interaction. This is very well done. I’d like to invite you to a writing forum. I hope you enjoy the community and share some of your interesting works.
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Pretty well written, but I didn't understand the zamboni. It's a good start, keep writing.

'effect' should be 'affect'
The 'lil' angel' thing cracked me up
Interesting start, sounds kinda humorous at the start and kind of defeats the dark elements later on in the chapter, but still well done.
Cheers,
D.A.