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| Jaclyn 2004-05-04 ch 1, | Cool imagery :) V. dark. It kind of feels like only half a poem though. It's as if you constructed a setting and then just...left us stranded there. On the other hand, that *does* contribute to the creepy feeling, so...(Ahh, not trying to be a nitpicker, but you wrote 'no' as 'so'.) Until next time! |
| A Beautiful Nightmare 2004-05-02 ch 1, | Very nice... I like the metaphor... "A place where streets lay twisted as snakes"... but in my opinion I think it would sound nicer if you change the "as" to "like"... but it's your poetry... |