   Lccorp2 2006-04-30 . chapter 1Harr.
Archdemon Lord Duffikus:
-"The Elves are a nomadic people that live in the hills and plains. The...all things, including the arts of war."
Do we *have* to know all this?
Essentially, it is:
1)long.
2)boring.
3)unecessary.
Don’t dump descriptive or expositive passages at the very beginning. Dear god, don’t do it. This is a common problem across genres, not just fantasy. Remember that it’s hard for anyone to care about a place without people in it to anchor the caring. You can write the most brilliant fantasy setting in the world, and if you don’t make your story interesting, the audience is going to yawn, put down the book, and say, “Next.”
Dialogue. Action. Suspense. THESE are the things you should use to get the reader's attention, not paragraphs upon paragraphs of how typical fantasy village A looks like. Before describing anything, ask yourself these:
1)Is this description necessary to advance the plot? Perhaps there are some symbols on the wall that the heroine needs to decipher, for example. Describe those. Don't desctible the cracks beside them.
2)Is this fun for the reader to read?
3)Would the character notice this from his or her viewpoint, and the circumstances involved? A farmer entering his field for the umpteenth time wouldn't notice the clouds in the sky, nor would two characters fighting notice how dark the other's eyes are, etcetc. By contrast, a young serving-madien at court for the first time would be awestruck, and quite rightly be fascinated with every detail.
Descriptive prose and exposition are wonderful tools, when used RIGHT. Want to let the reader know the village has a mage? Describe him WHEN HE BECOMES RELEVANT TO THE STORY, PLEASE.
-Nomadic? With bread? Watch it. Most nomads did and still do depend mainly on their animals for food, be they goats, sheep, cattle or horses. They don't stay long enough in one place for crops to grow; the only conceivable reason would be wild cerals ground into flour, or trade. Bread goes stale faster than you'd think. Judging by the story, they don't seem to have to come across traders.
In short, think about how your people's way of life and culture will affect them; in the foods they eat, the clothes they wear, their appearance, actions, mannerisms, folk tales, societal structure, langauge...the list stretches on. Whereforth comes paper for your little one to sketch on? Pens? With a nomadic people, wouldn't such things be seen as excess baggage?
-Try to remember the number of teenage girls in fantasy who have zits, pimples, or any other form of acne- or, for that matter, oily skin. Try to remember the number who have hair that gets dirty when they wander through a forest, or wounds that actually leave scars, or bruises that get mentioned more than once.
Not very high, is it? This despite the lack of skin creams, advanced medical treatment, or shampoo in most fantasy worlds. Amazing!
Now, some people might argue, "Who wants to read about zits?" To which I would reply, "I would prefer to read about that to yet another sixteen-year-old girl with flawless skin."
The point: If you really don't think that your readers want to know, or that you can deal with, teenage protagonists with many of the common woes of teenagers, then just avoid the extremes. Don't describe every flaw if it bothers you, but don't expect me to believe that these adolescents are little adults, either.
I think that wraps it up for now... |
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