bleh, what you say you dont like, i say i do. ;)You have more talent than you credit yourself for i believe. Or maybe you do credit yourself for it and just not this time. I really like this one, content, format and all. Even if it doesnt fit the exact format you want. I think its truly beautiful.

Prosey. The end sounds more Shakespeare-like than the beginning, with the sun and the moon being inert; that's probably the best part. Not your best, but still an interesting read.

Perdy ^.^ I can see the Shakespearian influences, however small, they're definitely there. We're reading Macbeth so yeah, I've not Shakespeare on the brain. And , much like Shakespeare, I really feel i can't completely grasp this poem ^.^" Which, like Shakespeare, frustrates me because the words and lines are so beautiful. I can only imagine the effort put into this.
I do like the title :D hehe. Don't kow where it is you got it from but, hey, it sounds spiffy ;)
Wish I understood this more :S But snaps to you anyway!
Arrivederci!
-Terra Tigra-