sounds good so far. keep writing!

ASword.

Wow, that was really awesome. I liked that creepy feeling that the story gave me. I find that sometimes if i see a certain horror film i keep thinking that it's gonna happen to me, and this story expressed that fear. You did a really good job here, well done!

I think this is the beginning of a good story. You are young but I feel your writing is a few years beyond your years. The more you learn, the better you will write. Now for the problems I found: In a few places I noticed you changed the tense, not a big problem but I noticed because they interrupted the flow of the story. Next, I don't don't understand why you wrote the dialogue properly in some places and bunched it into paragraphs in other places. Other than those two problems, I thought this was well written and interesting. I hope you can give a well used idea your own special twist. Great job, keep writing.
**Slave**
PS. I would read your other pieces but I usually stick to stories under a certain amout of words because, unfortunately, I have precious little time to be on here. If you have time, I would love to hear what you think of my work. Take care.

Good premise, but you need to be more descriptive in your writing, like describing the scenes at the movies, driving to the house, etc. A couple grammar mistakes too. Please R & R my story, CTreks.

Yeah you should continue this, but you should write for yourself, you don't really need other peoples opinions to continue writing. Try putting a new spin on the haunted house genre if you're worried. Anyway, yeah continue, it's a good first chapter.
R&R me please
JD

Pretty good. I say you continue it.