Very good...I can relate. Some of your rhymes seem a little forced; but don't take that to heart, I am impossibly picky with rhymes. Very good. Kudos to Eriathien, I found you through her favorite authors list.

I like this one, I know exactly how you feel, its a really good poem.
~Diane ~.^

This could make a great song if you ever find a band.
'I try o erase my thoughts of you.'
Should that 'o' be 'to'?

The rhyme seems slightly forced, but...


Wow, that was beautiful. From what I've seen of you're work so far, you're really good at expressing yourself.


Grammar freak that I am sometimes, let me just mention that the comma in the line "Why can't I do, what I want to do", is unneccesary. Also, "not but frantic" should be "naught but frantic". Finally, also in the 2nd stanza, are you TRYING to be the hopeless romantic? Or are you simply trying be romantic, or smooth or whatever, and you just END UP being the hopeless romantic?


You notice that none of these are real criticisms about the poem itself. That's because I really have no criticisms for the style or content (that is, wow, you're amazing:)

Wow, this is such a good poem. I like the ryhme scheme to it and its just all around good. And the message is sad yet beautiful at the same time..if that makes sense
Great work, keep it coming:)

Mr Mctempest,
I am astounded at the way you portray yourself, I am astounded at the way you use such vivd images to describe your feelings and such. I really can't believe that you are that kind of person, not after having known you for a while. However, I really hope that you don't feel as crappy as you say.
You know I love you. lol.
Peace out and lotsa luv (see?),
M.e.

Hey I really like this one. It would make a great song. Very beautifully written. Keep up the great work. TTFN