Reviews for Time - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Time

David Stephen 2004-12-30 ch 1,	I love the structure ... a great poem! ~DS~
arbysauce93 2004-07-06 ch 1,	Time is such an interesting topic. There is so much place to go with the umm. . .thing. Yeah, so I like your poem. The questions make it addressable by the reader. Good poem. Keep writing!
Midnight Walker 2004-06-17 ch 1,	Wow...nicely done! And it certainly can apply to anyone and everyone as well.
Crimson-Fantasy 2004-05-15 ch 1,	hey nice poem I like this nice summary to interesting I once aain love the way you write out your stuff even if it is short it is good and I would love it all the same no matter what cause of your layout but it is good so I have no reason to say other sorry am making no sense but hey nice job good emmotion:)K.P.
concrit 2004-05-14 ch 1,	look, you've got the potential somewhere down there under all the "teenage-angst" BS you write. "Was it time tortures forever?" This is one of the worst endings and grammar errors I've seen in a long time. Almost anything would be better here: "Will time torture forever?" or "Was it time that which tortured forever". This poem had absolutely no point, it hints then pulls away the second the reader seems to grasp a fragment of an idea/theme. Try expanding and not just asking pointless rhetorical questions of self enlightenment that every lost little girl goes through. Furthermore, you don't try to even give your poem flow at all do you? Your rhyming of "me" and "me", yeah, that's just brilliant. Oh wait, what's that you say? It's freestyle is it? Oh, I'm sorry, my mistake. Even so, a poem needs to be more than words strung together, it needs not to preach words to the reader but to evoke the emotions you felt behind the words.
Seeker of the Way 2004-05-14 ch 1,	very intruiging I don't quite get the wording of the end line, but I think it is cool. Just needs a tiny bit of polish! Keep writing, my friend! Talk to you this weekend if you like.

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