I find that i really like this poem. It doesnt have to rhyme to sound good and it is very discriptive and opinionated.

I like how these don't rythme. I really do. They ahve a different style to them, although they are confusing. But that might be what you're going for.
I do like this one though.
its blunt, yet discriptive.

Aw... *huggles* People are poopy sometimes...