 candy vomit 2004-06-11 . chapter 1Subtle. The idea of a 'bad luck charm'(yes, that's an oxymoron) isn't -entirely- original, but I like the story and I like how you used an innocent yellow umbrella as the 'charm'. Felt a slight chill when I read it and realized the true nature of the 'brella. (The story reminds me of a goosebumps book I read when I was in second grade... 'The Lost Treasure' or something like that. Good description of the old couple on the train, though they seem a bit unrealistic (perhaps that was the point?) I like Crazy Joon. Oh man oh man yeah I like him a lot. xD
The ending was a bit sudden. Perhaps you could edit that? And you should change the summary. "Dysfuntional relationship?" Their ('their' meaning Mimi and Bailey, of course) relationship seems like a normal sibling relationship. In fact, actually friendlier than most. Anyway, this review could have been organized better, but eh... I don't really have a good excuse for that, unless you count "I didn't feel like it." |
 pineapples 2004-06-01 . chapter 1I've always noticed the way you describe things, and the words you use...ksdjfksjdhf I love it! Sometimes I have to read it a few times just to understand it, but that's good!
Anyways, wow. I honestly love all your stories & poems! I've read them all, and you really have quite a knack for words. Looking forward to any new ones you might have coming. : )
- Cat |