I wrote an essay like this.

I wrote a censorship essay as well, and I agree. I think they should lighten up on the censorship issues.

~Namir Swiftpaw

You're a little too personal, I believe, in this essay. You end with a command rather than a conclusion. It sounds a little too moralistic. You also put in your own opinion rather than analyzing information portrayed from your sources. All in all, I believe it could be much better.