FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Blue-Vampress 2004-06-03 ch 1,  | abuseCandles burn, and flicker, and waver, and dwindle out. I think it would flow better as 2 lines, change dwindle out into dwindling out and make it a seperate line altogether. And keep clinging to the hope that I¡¯ll have something to rely on? there's something wrong there too though I can't qutie grasp it. It just doesn't seem... poemish. Try rephrasing it, it doens't flow properly like this. |
| Cry Tears of Darkness 2004-06-03 ch 1, | abusethats really nice. you have a nice and unique style |