Reviews for The Vampire Laurel

Reviews For: The Vampire Laurel - Reviews: Page 1 of 2

puppy dog eyes 2006-09-23 ch 1,	abuseGood start, you set up the mood for us and give us a look into Laurel's personality.
Angelfacekrys 2006-04-10 ch 1,	abuseawesome, cant wait for the next chapters, so hurry ya?!!
Deadly Beautiful 2005-09-27 ch 4,	abuseI feel so bad for him! I hope you continue this story at some point. His life seems very interesting.
La Velvetine 2005-02-26 ch 4,	abuseThere are many vampire stories on this delightful site, but your story is one of the particularly good ones. Do continue on it. What happens next to Laurel?
Avery Rose 2004-07-22 ch 4,	abuseit's so enchanting... just pulls me right in, which is very good writing, write more. please.
Avery Rose 2004-07-22 ch 1,	abuseone little thing about the prolouge I need to say before I go on... I love the voice I hear in my head when I read this. It is a voice that feels kind of... foggy or cloudy even. Like a storm... thinks it's kind of hard to explain it, but it makes a hugely great first impression on me.
x0x-Still-Alive-x0x 2004-06-27 ch 4,	abusegreat story! BTW, remember my story you reviewed?Thank you so much! But there's this fictionpress virus i had that wiped out my stories along with all the reviews =[ I put "The Curse" back up though since it was saved on my computer! I updated it just today and i promise to update soon! You are a great writer. Thanks again for the review it means so much to me ^_^ Keep writin you just keep getting better and better :]
starvingeyes 2004-06-22 ch 4,	abuseInteresting story. Good writing...By the way Laurel speaks, with the bloody's and the arse's, I can only hope he's British..Anyway..keep up.
starvingeyes 2004-06-22 ch 1,	abuseI like the way you started it out: the sentences short, concise. It felt like a soliloquoy, or some sort of speech. There are a few grammar issues, but they are minor. I like it.
Crystal Parkinson 2004-06-16 ch 4, anon.	abusegreat!
W3DNESDAY 2004-06-15 ch 2,	abusehey, this is great! one of the best written and coherent vampire stories on this site! i do hope that the mindless bloodlust and all does stop and give way to a big conflict (in what direction is story heading?) i hope that laurel finds happiness... =( terrific job! *clap clap
W3DNESDAY 2004-06-15 ch 1,	abuseexcellent imagery and word choice, especially the beginning lines this particular sentence doesn't make sense though: "The sopping wet mattress where I often sit bubbles and froths with the stuff whenever I do" a very good intro, and a well developed narrator's voice love it!
Highway Chile 2004-06-08 ch 4,	abuseWonderful. It was well-written, and I can't wait for more. (Thanks for reviewing "Naked in the Rain," by the way.)
slave to the voices 2004-06-08 ch 4,	abuseYou're on a pretty good roll here. Your expression of Laurel's emotions are touching. Nice work, keep writing. Slave
E. K. L. Birch 2004-06-07 ch 3,	abusehey thanks for the review--it's my turn now ;) I like this one alot--vampires have always intrigued me, and I especially like how you've made your version of their lives so much more different than most others. However, one thing I would say is that the beginning of chapter 3 is kind of confusing--Aerith's entrance is befuddling, and it takes pretty much the entire chapter to figure out what's going on with him. The other thing is that I think you need more commas (then again, I might just be comma happy...) when addressing someone it's typical to put a comma after their name--that's where I noticed the lack of commas the most. I still really like it, though, and am looking forward to some new chapters!

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