I've read your other stories so i wont' bother with this one, I do like that dramatic ending with the whole "...in death..." part, the italics alone send shivers down my spine. Stop writing

...seriously...

i think that this is a very impressive write. it has a unique style and a strong voice. good job.
i hope you will take some time to review some of my work as well.

Hello- This is a pretty good start. I'm interested to see where this is going to go.