Reviews for The Sorrows of the Moon

Reviews For: The Sorrows of the Moon

Sunrise in the East 2006-06-08 ch 1,	abusebeautiful imagery and it's very well written.. A lot better than I could do... Great story. :-) -Sunny-
ColorCrayons 2004-08-25 ch 1,	abusebeautifully written, very interesting story. when i have more time i would like to check out ur other, however i have to leave pretty soon. the dialogue seemed natural, not forced. good job ~Mack
H. Hyatt 2004-06-27 ch 1,	abuseThis is very good. I think that the ending is very deep and that if you want to keep it as a short story then you should. You are a great writer A E and I am very proud of you! I love ya!
Arlynael 2004-06-08 ch 1,	abuseIntersting start. Very compeling. However--though mystery is good, and it makes the reader want to read more, it really is nice to explain things every once in a while. It makes people happy. I like your begining, and I think that you're going for suspence, which is all well and good. I understand that you wish to leave things unexplained...I do that all the time. But still, I think that you leave too many things unexplained. This doesn't create tension, rather, it creates frustration. If your reader can't understand what's going on, they're not going to read. There is a very, very fine line between too much and enough. For example, give us some background info about the twelve: who are they, and what are their places in society (ex., what are they to normal people). I like how you explained about Cripipto, but I would move that description up to where he is fist mentioned. Also, who exactly is Melantha. You mentioned 'two thousand years'. Well, does this mean that the Twelve are Immortal. Also, explain more about the magic. Are the Twelve the only ones who wield it, or can others as well? Now, onto the good stuff: I LOVE your descriptions. Absolutly fabulous. "The silk skirt she was buried in flew around her, giving her wings as she studied the horizon." Love it. Very Garth Nix-y/Philip Pulman-y. (I love those authors.) Also, I like how you describe her thoughts, like when she bit her lip. Larauna is adorable, even though we've just met her. Also, she provides a wonderful opertunity for Melantha to express her feelings, an oppertunity you grap perfectly. Love it, absolutly love it. I like the suspension. Aside from adding background info, I think everything you DON'T tell us is wonderful. It makes the reader want to read more, more, MORE! Yes, I like this story a lot. It's fabulous. The plot, though we don't see it yet, begins intrigingly in this first chapter. I love the descriptions, I really do. I can't wait to read more. Update soon!
Vagrance 2004-06-08 ch 1,	abuseThis is a great start to an epic (so I believe). I like the psychological factors in this introductory chapter. I'd really like to see you continue.
arbysauce93 2004-06-08 ch 1,	abuseWow. great start to a stroy. I really can't wait to read more and find out what happens with the twelve. Keep writing!

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