sensual, beautiful, and really almost blissful reading. lovely use of words and just stunning, the words really add to it and give it such a beautiful ad entrancing feel to it. lovely, lovely read.

!~* noelle *~!

I honestly can't think of what would be a helpful suggestion. I was in a trance while reading it- extremely, beautifully sensual.

Wow now that was a highly artistic sexual encounter. I loved the way you seamlessly flowed right into each description. Very good work I just love the imagery of this.

This is my first time reading through your works, and I must say I'm impressed. You really got your point across here, but you managed to do it so tastefully that it wasn't the least bit objectionable.

Hmm... I like this. What are you not satisfied with it? I might suggest tightening it up some, and getting rid of little words that are unnecessary (ex: To shourten that up, I could just say unnecessary little words.). And capitalize at the start of ever sentance. but that's just me.

i dont understand why ur not satisfied-i think it's nice
it's hard to write something tender and romantic and get away with it...but this is beautiful and honest so it works
it is very mellow...like love in the morning, but it seems accurate when describing girls...the girls im with...it's always softer than the boys

Oh my... god. This is absolutely astounding. I love theme the imagery the.. everything ohmy**. lol! So many beautiful colors and emotions mixed into one. I can't give you a good enough review for this but I will tell you this is going on my favorites.
Jenna xx

Wow, this is beautiful...
You asked for suggestions but I can't think of any to give. :/ Sorry. I'm a failure.
My favorite line: "I want to dream inside your skin". It reminds me of Nirvana. Or maybe that's just because I'm listening to Nirvana right now, anyways, it's similiar. And that's a compliment.