Damn this keyboard! This is the THIRD time I have written this damn review, so you better love me. >_< This thing is really starting to anger me, and it not your story. Your story is fantastic, and rather addicting. I NEED more of it, and will be unpatiently waiting for you to write more. So get started.

Anyway it was very well written and enjoyable. You did so well at captureing the emotions of the characters. I even teared up, be very proud of that. I did find one or two parts that messed with my head. One was at the beginning about one paragraph in.

'"I know,” Dlami told her pledged softly.'

The sentence structure on this broke my head. Basically it didn't sound right to me at first. Then I realized that she was refering to her husband as her pledged. Maybe you could do an extended authors note at the beginning of the story to inform idiots like me that you are using a different style speach and older terms for things. The second part that broke my head was when you started refering to Madam Tris as M. Tris. I know this should have been easier for me to understand but I got confused for a moment. You know me, that happens rather easily.

Other than that I had no problems understanding it, and no one else should either. I am definitely looking forward to reading more of this and seeing where it goes (even though I know the plot). I just can't wait to read more of it. So I'm going to warn you ahead of time. I will be bugging you to write. Good luck on that by the way. ^^

This was definitely a fantastic opening chapter. The writing was wonderful and it was very entertaining. I only found one miss spelled word. It was in about the 4th or 5th paragraph. Srae was misspelled the second time used in it.

Iana nodded to her and led Sra across the street, where she placed Sime in his cradle—It had been built for her when she was a baby, and it was large and sturdy, but lightweight so it could be taken outside in pleasant weather.

Anyway, you know I loved it and am impatiently awaiting for you to upload more of this.

"DO IT NOW, KITTY! I NEED MORE OF THIS!!"

Okay, I feel better now ^^. Well you know how I feel about this. And on to the next chapter I go.

"~ ~ ~ La, la, la, la... ~ ~ ~"

o/d, liquids almost left my eyez twice. Once from being bored @ the start, then again from being sad later on. Poor lil'pplz.
~more~

=/ Poor Srae, I love your writing. Its awesome-ness. Sorry on the slow response, I acually read it the second I saw the first email, but when I went to leave the post my computer acted funny and wouldn't let me sign in.. (Still wont) If you don't continue this story I will be a sad child. xD. btw.. your grammar is amazing to me. Love ya sis~Lauren

This was so good and so sad! It is a little bit similar to a story I am writing called "Ellidiir". Well, in the beginning anyways. This was really good though and keep up the good work! I want to read more soon! Oh, and please read my two stories, "Ellidiir" and "The Flame of Oriinthai: Betrayal". I would appreciate it. Thanks!

^-^ This is probably my most favorite of all your stories. I remember when you first sent it to me, I still rememberd it all. You've gotten REALLY good. If this were a novel in a book store I'd purchace it- that good. I really enjoy the naritive and the character interactions. excellent job. Not just saying it either.

~Love yaLauren

Good story. Very interesting, I'd like to read chapter 2 as soon as possible. The characters are well described and personalised, and spelling and grammar were mainly correct. Just a few tiny typos I noticed.
The way you ended it was very good. Perhaps at the start, you introduced a few too many characters at once, but it became clearer later on. Well done, and I hope you get the next chapter up soon!
~Isa Koliki~

Houly ** dude! What the hell happens next! the poor children are going to die and I have to say, the humor in this story has got to be the best I've ever seen! ^_^ Please update soon and let me know when you do! Ta ta!
~~WPY