well, if you cut out the lyrics, your story is really quite short and there isn't really a story. Hows about lengthening it a lil? But for all that's fair, not bad.

Interestesting stand point comparing to the song, which I love by the way. Good job. Take a look at my fic(s) sometime. Would be lovely.

hm, very self pitying. i like the description you're using. but throughout the chapter, i was trying to figure out if "her" was a girl he once dated and now really misses or is it the lead singer from Evanescence. you might want to clarify that part a little bit there. other than that, great job!